I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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