two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize