i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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