Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
