I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
