I look better un-naked...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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