My first STD was from a foam party
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
