I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
