What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
