our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
