At least make sure they are 18
Why
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
