P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
