I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So vagazzling was a success
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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