Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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