Buhtt sex?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
