New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize