sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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