READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
