His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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