I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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