My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize