Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
