just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Alive.
So much puke
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have aggressive nipples.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
