I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish they made helmets for livers.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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