You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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