He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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