If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize