Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
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I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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