All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
