I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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