I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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