the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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