She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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