An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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