yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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