she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
