Do you still have your period?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
