careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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