So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
