well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
do nipples grow back?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
