i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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