and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
