Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
