Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
