He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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