Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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