Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
