Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
