the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
