Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
