Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
