he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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