Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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