Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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