Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
