Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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