He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
