I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
