You can't special order awesome
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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