Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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