I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
